Job hunting

Well, I have been out of work now for about a month. Things have been pretty slow, first because it's silly season and second because I've come down with a nasty cold so I have been putting people off. No one want to bring someone for an interview and have them coughing on their employees. That being said I have been looking and a few things have come up that I found annoying in the past but they are really getting under my skin. Maybe its the fact that I'm sick or maybe I've just seen this enough that it's reached the point of pissing me off. Either way some of the habits of recruiters are just plain annoying and if they wish to be thought of as professional they need to start acting like it.

• Read my resume BEFORE you call or email me. Seriously, do you see COBOL or Windows on my resume? No, you did not. That is because I don't have those skills. Just because you have a contract opening for a COBOL programmer does not mean I have the skill. How you can determine this is by READING THE FREAKING RESUME.

• Do not assume I want to take a job in Newark, NJ or Tulsa, OK. You got my resume off of Dice or some other job posting board. If you notice all of these boards have a profile section which contains a question asking if I will relocate. I checked no. That means I will not be leaving the Bay Area. Again, I don't care if you have a great job in some other city, I like where I live and my wife kinda insists on me being home every night and especially at the rate you just quoted.  Which brings me to...

• Money. You asked me for my rate and I quoted you two sets of numbers. The first range was an hourly rate for my services on a W2 basis. The second range was a yearly salary as an FTE (Full Time Employee).  The two numbers in both sets represents a floor and a ceiling. The delta between those two numbers is approximately 10%. My rates are based on my experience and skill set in this job market in this area. Since I have been doing this for longer then I care to mention I have a very good idea what a person like me is worth and I always set my rates to be right in the middle of what is considered to be the going rate. Telling me that the client has set a top rate of X and that rate is below my floor is not my problem. If the client can not afford my rate then they can't afford me and no amount of badgering will not get me to drop my rate. Telling me it's a great company with a bright future means nothing to me.  Sorry guy, a "great company with a bright future" does not pay a mortgage.

• Telephone manners. This really gets on my nerves. I know you speak English what I can't make out is what you are saying. Speak up and stop mumbling. I get some of these guys on the phone and I know they are from India but I can't make out what they are saying. Their speaking volume is so low I wonder if they are even holding the phone to their mouth and they mumble. Come on man! Speak up, Enunciate, Articulate. Generally when I get one of these mumblers on the phone I just hang up. The other one that gets me is the speed talkers. They leave a message on my voicemail and they talk so fast I can't get their the message and phone number they are trying to leave. Again enunciate and articulate. As with the mumblers I just ignore these guys.

• Time. I assume you went to school and your parents and teachers taught you how to tell time. I'm also sure you were introduced to the concept of a "Time Zone". Most business is conducted between 9am and 5pm Monday through Friday in any given time zone. You may not have noticed this but there is a 3 hour difference between Virginia and California. It might be 9am in Virginia but that means it is 6 am here in California. Calling me a 5:30 am is really bad form. I don't care that it is 8:30 am in Virginia and you are trying to get a jump on the day, I was asleep. I have caller ID and I just wrote down your number because you woke me from a sound sleep and I will never answer you phone calls ever. 

• References. My references are valuable and I take great care with them When the job search has gotten serious, we have had the first phone screen, the technical phone screen and the in person and they are seriously thinking about bring me on board then I will be happy to provide at least 3 references. I am not going to give you my references before I have even seen the job description.  I don't care that you want to speed up the process. If my references start getting calls from every Tom, Dick or Harry that has a copy of my resume they might not return your calls and then where am I?

In short, you are not selling used cars so stop acting like this is the DotCom and you are working for a body shop. If you wish to be treated like a professional then start acting like one. Then maybe you people will start returning your calls.